The World We Blog

Whoa, what a weird period in life I’m going through. Not wanting to blantently rip off Morpheus, but at times I feel a bit like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole. Not quite sure where I am exactly or what I’m meant to do with myself. Having finally finished my job a few weeks ago, I now have very little to do with myself other than go out and get drunk, and I think a lot of this feeling may have come from a bit too much of that. I look around at my situation and I don’t quite understand how or why I ended up here. There is nothing going right in my life at the moment, and there is no blinding light to guide me forward. Everytime I try to make something for myself I seem to go and destroy the oppotunity just as quick.

I finished work two weeks ago, and last monday I decided to go on a welsh tour with Greg for a few days, spending a night at Glamorgan to see my old uni friends, and then spending a further two nights in Aberystwyth. Over the course of these three nights I had an absolutely fantastic time, but ironically I came away feeling subdued about the whole experience. Monday night was fantastic, we arrived in Glamorgan at around 8pm after the M4 got shut down en route and delayed the journey by an hour or more. Once there, we cracked out the beers and were soon on the train heading to Cardiff with a load of friends from uni. Once there I don’t actually remember much of the night, which is usually a sign that I enjoyed myself. I awoke, perched on two plastic chairs, with someones blanket layed over me and with surprisingly very little hangover. Considering the fact we didn’t get back til at least gone 3am, more likely to be 4am, I was not best pleased when I looked at the time – 8.30am! The accomodation people didn’t take too kindly to two strangers sleeping in the kitchen, especially seeing as we weren’t signed in or anything. So myself and Greg were turfed, giving us the excuse to begin the next part to our epic welsh tour a little earlier than planned.

The journey to Glamorgan was two hours, however the remaining journey to Aberystwyth would take us another three and a half hours – something which you don’t want to be thinking of at 8.30am when you still have left over alcohol in your system and less than 4 hours sleep. Nevertheless we motored ahead… Well I say we, technically Greg was the one driving, as I was barely concious for the best part of the journey, as demonstrated by most of the drivel that came from my mouth en route. It was during this journey between Glamorgan and Aberystwyth that I came to love the welsh countryside. I suddenly realised why so many people go to Wales. All this time, there was me thinking it was for the sheep, but no. The views along the way were absolutely breath-taking at times. Although I could never cope with the remoteness of it, I definately understand why people go on holiday there now. The people are seriously laid back and down to earth as well.

Once we arrived in Aberystwyth we were greeted by a half asleep, but very naked, Mark. Too tired to actually register what we had just witnessed, we all laid down to watch some good old student tv… Neighbours! By the time that had finished, it was about 2pm, so time to get up and make something of the day. First port of call was a tour of the town, after which we stopped off at the arcade, where we pretty much spent teh rest of the afternoon, excusing the detour to KFC on the way home. We hadn’t come all that way for the arcade however, nor the KFC, and once home we soon got ready for a night in Aberystwyth, Berkshire style!

Somehow, whilst in a pub somewhere, we managed to meet the comedy for the night – a 50yr old homosexual with a beard! We aptly named him our Gay Uncle Rich. The stories he shared with us were shocking, many involving policemen, archbishops or vicars. We took a shine to him however, and so he soon became our follower for the night, coming to all the pubs and clubs with us that night, and appearing in many of the photos too. To say he was a well spoken man would be an understatement. He was like a gay bloke with a silver spoon stuck up his ass!

Anyway yet again, not a lot of the night is memorable for me, due to the crazy amounts of alcohol consumed by myself that night. Sometime around 4-5am however I was sat on the end of the pier with the tide slowly coming in (“Oh no! The tides coming in!” – Rat Boy). I think that was when my issues really started to surface, being drunk and sat on the end of a pier watching the tide crashing below me, slowly getting closer and closer. That night I decided to eventually get up and walk back to rejoin the others who crazily, at 6am, were sat at the Inn on the Pier eating breakfast! I didn’t really feel much like eating however, and so Tom finished my breakfast. I was more interested in trying to chat up some random girl who came and sat next to us for a bit. I can’t for the life of me remember how or why she came to be sitting next to us, but when she got up and left, I decided I would go and try to chat her up. She had already left her handbag with us, so I used it as the perfect ice breaker and foolishly went to make my move. I say foolishly, as if you remember, I had drunk rediculous amounts and I couldn’t even tell you what I said to her. Whatever I said however, it wasn’t going down well, and we soon left – with her number I may add, althought I did try to get it.

On the way back up the insanely steep hill ( or at least at 6am it is!), Tom decided to pour a pint of beer over my head! Normally I would be slightly irritated by this, but due to my half-unconcious state, and the fact I had not slept for almost 24 hours, I was in no mood to be messed about with. That action pretty much tipped me over the edge, and I then took it out on Greg, resulting in me and him falling out and me storming off to smash up the nearest bus stop. Looking back on this, that was slightly regrettable, as I may have fractured my hand/finger and it put a downer on teh rest of the experience.

The next night was much the same, however it started a lot slower. We began the night at the campus sport pub watching the European Champions League final between Liverpool and AC Milan – AC Milan winning that 2-1, which pleased Glenn as he had a £50 bet for that scoreline. After the final, we headed to the union, where I was sober for much of it, until teh very end where I did 3 straight shots of vodka to get me in the mood, followed by another 3 from Greg. 6 straight shots of vodka… Needless to say I was soon on my way, and add in the paracetamol I took for my hand, which by this point was giving me agony, I was wasted. I definately learnt that night that there is a reason they say dont drink with paracetamol. By 2am I was running around the beach in Aberystwyth stark naked and jumping off the pier into the sea! Not my best moment I must say!

So after the eventful week, I have been left a little confused. I should have come away from that week loving life and with a huge smile on my face, but instead I feel as if my life has been washed down the drain. I struggle to sleep, I am rarely found smiling and now have no idea where life is taking me. I had arranged an interview for today, however I cancelled that as I just had no motivation for it. I turned up half hour late to unlock work, and without any keys Monday and just got told to go home. I have to return today and I have no idea if I still have a job or what. Looking back a month, I was in a regular shift pattern, earning decent money, and although not happy, I was content. Now fast forward to today and I’m possibly unemployed, no prospects and no idea of what I want from life. This sure has been a fucked up month.