The World We Blog

The time has come when people start to look back on the previous 12 months of their lives and ask the big question… What have I done with myself this year? Some people will look back on a new job, maybe a new family member, perhaps moving house, a new love interest, the loss of a loved one… The list of things that can happen in a single year is limitless. So what has happened for me this year that I can look back at?

Well looking at the enteries in this blog, you would think that not a lot has happened really. Compared to the previous years that I have maintained this, this year has been very poor in terms of updates. For the first time since February 2003, I let an entire month pass without any update what so ever – not only did I let just one month pass, I let March, April and May all slip past without so much as a word. In fact, over the entire year I only made 24 enteries (not including this)! That is a new record low for me, and if anything shows just how little of interest has happened to me over the previous 52 weeks.

When I look at where I was this time last year, not a lot has changed if I’m honest. Looking back at my final entry of the year 2005 (link), where I was pretty much doing exactly what I am doing here, there isn’t a lot that has changed from the position I was in then. At that time I was getting through life by attending college, doing assignments and working. Now I am getting through life by attending university, supposedly doing assignments and working during holidays. Similar to when at college, I started this academic year with enthusiasm by the bucket load, and this showed by my constant partying for the first few weeks. However this partying seemed to take its toll on me after the third or fourth week, when I started to sleep more than I would be awake, and often I would be sleeping during the day. Since then I have calmed down a huge amount, to the point where I am now, by my own admission, boring! I had hoped that my energy would return after a few weeks back home, but sadly it hasnt, and I’m left in exactly the same mindset that I left university with. Perhaps this is just me – I cant keep up the constant partying and soon loose energy so perhaps that just isnt the sort of person I am. Maybe I am destined to become a more subdued and quiet person.

My opinion of christmas hasn’t changed at all in the year that has passed. This year was just as miserable for me as the last, and the one before that. There are times when I question what the problem is with me and christmas? Perhaps I don’t give the christmas period enough of a chance to be a happy and jolly time of year. Maybe I have a preconception of the festive period and am too stubborn to allow this to change. Then again, whenever I have tried to give it a chance in teh past, I have only ever been proved right to doubt this time of year. In all honesty, this year was nowhere near as bad as the previous two, but by the same standards it was no perfect christmas. There is no doubt that christmas is a time for family, and there is as little doubt in my mind that my bad mood around christmas time has a lot to do with my far from happy family life. It has been no secret that I have not been happy at home with my family for a very long time, and therefore being happy at home with family surrounding me is one thing I would very much rather go without.
The typical question for most people to ask after christmas is undoubtedly, “what did you get?”, and this year I have my best answer for many years yet! Underwear and a shirt! Aside from the £20 my brother gave me, which swiftly went on a night out in town, the only presents I got were a pack of boxers, a pack of socks and a shirt! To be fair, I wasn’t expecting a lot from family, but they definately impressed me this year! I think more effort was made by my brother to pick out a card for me than was made buying me those gifts! But… I can’t really grumble, I dislike christmas and all the false rituals that it comes with, so not recieving anything makes me feel much less guilty for not getting anything for other people.

Away from christmas though, lets continue to look back at what actually happened during the year 2006, before it is well and truely over.
Within weeks of the new year starting, I had a speed scare whilst going to college, however this was unfounded and soon the 14-day boundary had passed by without any notifications, so I was in the clear. However, despite speeding to get to college, my attendance at college was not fantastic in the year 2006, and I was soon in serious attendance problems, not to mention my assignments.
Then, at the start of February, I managed to crash into a stationary car after coming back from town one night (not the wisest decision to drive in that state – I would not reccommend it!). After my fears, this turned out to only mean loosing my no claims bonous (which I hadn’t actually acquireed yet) and having to purchase a new care, so I was extremely lucky considering what could have been. In that month I also managed to end my 14-month search for a girlfriend. Sadly I soon learnt that making relationships from girls you meet when drunk is not the best idea, and it promptly ended a few weeks later after I decided we werent right for each other. She soon found another bloke though, and to my knowledge they are still together, so well done to them.
Having crashed my car, and being the lazy sod I am, I spent the next few months relying on Dad to take me to college most days, and then relied on the kindness of my mate at college to give me a lift home when he was or, or calling upon my Dad again when he wasn’t. Come April however, having decided back in December that I would go to university, I needed to go to Wales for the open day, and without a car the journey would have been both expensive and boring. So what did I do? I did what any normal person would do, and went out to buy a car! Well technically, I went with my Dad to buy a car, as our ideas of a new car differed slightly. Whereas I was looking at a very second-hand example of a car, he was looking more at a barely driven second-hand car. In the end he won and I got a new car fully paid for by him. Looking back on it, I probabally would have preferred to get a cheaper, older car, and save the rest of the money, but he wanted to get me this. It’s a nice car though, and I am still very happily driving it around.

My best mate Greg also found himself a new job in 2006, and as a result of this, I found myself feeling very rejected. Well, to be fair this feeling never really left me, I just learnt to accept it and accepted the fact we were moving in opposite directions. We’re still mates, but no where near as close as we once were. I gave up asking what he was up to, as the answer was always going to be the same, so now we pretty much only speak on the odd occasion on MSN, and then if we arrange to go to town, however this isn’t very often either. Greg and Nick did come up to see me during the first few weeks on university, but I was still hardcore partying, and got so drunk I barely remember they were even there! This didn’t help as it totally screwed up their weekend, and actually left them quite pissed off at me. Things have never really improved, and it may be just a matter of time until he goes the way of many of my other ‘friends’.

I was really panicking towards the end of my college course, and it took a hell of a lot hard work to pull myself out of the hole I had dug for myself during the course. Towards the end I was left with numerous assignments due, and even more overdue! How I managed to get them all done on time and come away with a pass I have no idea. I didn’t even manage to pass all my modules, but I did manage to come away with an overall pass mark, which was enough to confirm my place at university.

For the first time in years, I even managed to find ‘love’ during the summer of 2006! When I say ‘love’, it was the first time I had actually had any ‘real’ feelings for someone, rather than just finding them attractive and taking it from there. This was a big step for me, but she decided to end it for god-knows what reason. I was slightly heart-broken, but I moved as we hadn’t been together long, and now I look back and really wonder what the hell I saw in her. She fucked with my head so much during the period after we broke up, I question sometimes how much of what she said to me was actually the truth and what was bullshit! Oh yeah, and I never did get the £160 back, but I never really expected to after she broke up with me anyway.

Never finished..